Monthly Archives: April 2012

Tough Talk

Ephesians 4:15-16 (ESV) 15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, 16  from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

Boy talk about a tough topic!  Tough talk is a tough topic however, if we are ever going to accomplish all that God has for us we are going to have to have some hard conversations.  Hard conversations with ourselves and hard conversations with others.  Many of these conversations are going to be filled with tough talk.  Meaning we are going to speak the truth in love in order to preserve the unity that we have or in order to bring us into the unity that we need (John 17) in order to fulfill our life’s mission and the mission of the Church God has called us to.  Tough talk happens in every healthy relationship and should be modeled daily.  Tough talk is not, “Hey your dress is ugly and your Momma dresses you funny!”  Ephesians has one main idea in mind and that is the unity of the body growing into full maturity and being it’s most effective in advancing the kingdom.  It has little or nothing to do with being mean, spiteful or hurtful just for the sake of perceived truth.  This generation has an idea of that when they say, “Hey I’m just trying to be real.”, directly following an opinion, insult, or rude comment displaying no compassion or love just perceived truth.  Here is what I know and have learned, if we do not have hard conversations and if tough talk isn’t a part of our lives we suffer in many ways.  Our relationships suffer because where there is lack of honesty there is also a lack of trust and transparency.  Our ministry/ workplace suffers because bottled up emotions and feelings eventually come to surface in behaviors if not properly dealt with.  Ultimately disunity takes place in every area by avoiding tough talk and hard conversations.  I also know that tough talk creates huge amounts of stress and tension.  Actually I believe it reveals stress and tension that is already there just un-addressed.  The Apostle Paul tells the church to speak the truth in love so that we will grow into Christ.  We stay connected to Jesus by being honest and truthful while being equally compassionate and loving.  I have experienced tough talk multiple times in the past few months, weeks and days.  Each of these conversations has come to a peaceful resolution with love winning every time.  Now I’m not saying that is always going to be the case because some people like to fight and some people must get their way at all costs.  We are flawed human beings.  What I am saying is that tough talk and hard conversations act as a litmus test to the level of relationship we have or think we have with individuals.  Not speaking the truth in love doesn’t preserve anything, it actually prolongs negative feelings and promotes disunity and dysfunction.  Leaders who are afraid of hard conversations and avoid tough talk should seriously evaluate their leadership.  We cannot lead without having hard conversations and tough talk.  It is absolutely impossible!  Vision demands clarity and unity which only comes in hard conversations and tough talk.  A leader’s vision must not be for sale, rent, lease or loan which means we will have to defend and advance the vision which will definitely lead to hard conversations and tough talk.  Look at the results of speaking the truth in love.  Each part ends up working properly and the body builds itself up in love.  I don’t know maybe today you need to have a hard conversation and some tough talk with someone.  My encouragement to you is don’t put it off.  I don’t know maybe today someone has to have a hard conversation and some tough talk with you.  My encouragement to you is don’t put them off.  The longer we put off tough talk and hard conversations the longer we remain in disunity and the further we get away from the ultimate and perfect unity described in John 17.  Trust your relationships.  Test your relationships.  Live the life God has intended for you with those He intended you to live with.  Love hard and love well.  Be truth tellers filled with compassion.  Love people enough to tell them the truth and pray that God gives them the courage to love you the same way.  Be honest with God and honest with them.  I’ll bet you’ll be surprised at the outcome and the unity that you build and share in love through tough talk and hard conversations.  Be encouraged!

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On the Brink

I have to put a disclaimer right up front here for this blog.  It may  not be for everyone.  It reminds me of a quote from the movie A Few Good Men, “You want the truth?!  You can’t handle the truth!”  Anyway, here we go.  I am away at the Exponential Conference in Orlando.  It is the largest gathering of church planters on the planet.  I am here with 5,000 church planters, pastors and leaders from around the world.  My first experience at Exponential was two years ago.  I was a man without a church but not a man without a vision.  We were one month away from launching City on a Hill Church.  Needless to say I was excited, scared, thrilled, worried, expectant, anxious and every other emotion in between.  I was “On the Brink” of the greatest adventure I would ever be privileged to go on to date.  I was “On the Brink” of the most beautiful yet brutal spiritually demanding, emotionally charged, physically challenging, mentally exhausting journey of my life called church planting.  Here is the coolest part I knew I was “On the Brink” and God was about to do something through me even bigger than I could have ever asked thought, dreamed or imagined.  I could sense His hand of favor on me, my wife and the Launch Team of City on a Hill Church.  I knew that I knew that I knew that God was in this thing 1000%.  That was and is the beautiful part, now with all that being said we get to the brutal part.  Over these past two years I have been “On the Brink” multiple times.  I have been “On the Brink” to the good and to the bad.  I wish I could tell you it has all been a bed of roses.  No! Check that, no I don’t!  God never wastes a hurt.  Nothing worth having is free it comes at a high price.  The theme of this conference is Sifted from Luke 22:31-32 and I must tell you I have been Sifted and Re-sifted throughout this journey.  I wouldn’t trade any of the experiences I have had because they have shaped me into the husband, uncle, pastor, brother, leader and friend I am becoming.  I say, “I am becoming” because I know it isn’t over by a long shot.  There are going to be many more times when I am “On the Brink”.  I call Mondays “Blue Monday” because every week I am drained and “On the Brink”.  I told you this is raw and for all of my City on a Hillers don’t worry your pastor isn’t going anywhere!  I ain’t got no quit in me!  Sometimes I may be “On the Brink” but I am tethered to Jesus and His dream called City on a Hill Church.  I do have a thought or two for those of you “On the Brink”.  What if you are one day away from that breakthrough?  What if you are one more try from finding the answer?  What if you are one huge failure away from ultimate success?  If we quit we will never know!  Besides my friend Shawn Lovejoy taught at Exponential, “If we are doing what God has called us to do and we quit, it is sin.”  That statement resonated in my spirit and gave me a spiritual slap across the face and a defibrillator to the heart.  It was like spiritual smelling salts for me.  There are so many facets to the vision of City on a Hill Church still yet to be realized.  My heart’s cry is to see lost people found, wanderers brought home and restored, disciples being made into disciple making disciples and missionaries being sent into every culture in our city.  Sometimes I forget just how fast everything has happened for us at City on a Hill Church.  We are only going to be two years old next week and we are tracking like we are 5 to 7 years old or older. I just know we are “On the Brink” but recently every time we are “On the Brink” of taking our next big step it seems like when we get to that step we have a setback of some kind most behind the scenes.  I need to preface the next few comments.  I know and believe success isn’t based on nickels, numbers and noses, I get that.  However, numbers do tell part of the story.  We have seen steady growth from May of 2010 to February of 2012.  We went from 135 in average attendance to 280 in those short months.  That is almost double!  Glory to God forever!  However, in February of 2012 we were “On the Brink” of breaking into over 300 in average attendance every weekend, which is the natural growth mark.  I have been praying for COAH’s growth in every way.  The first growth I pray for always is spiritual because spiritual growth will produce numerical growth (evangelism), financial growth (stewardship) and exponential growth.  We had a huge Easter with over 450 in attendance and the two Sundays following Easter we had below average attendance which concerns me.  Not for reasons most would think.  No! It is not about the numbers it is about the people.  I am a shepherd in every sense of the word.  It breaks my heart when I see people “On the Brink” of incredible spiritual growth instead end up “On the Brink” of spiritual decline because of a setback.  Setbacks are comebacks in the making!  Usually when I don’t see people in church or if their attendance becomes sporadic it is because something negative has happened and the enemy of our soul is trying to isolate and insulate them from Jesus Christ, their faith and His Church.  I am left with the question, “What if that Sunday is the day in Church that God wants to give you that breakthrough?”  What if that Sunday was the day ordained by God that a brother or sister in Christ, known or unknown, speaks prophetically into your life?  Why do I ask this?  Because I saw it happen last weekend!  A brother came up to me after service and said, “Pastor Mike I have to tell you something.  I came in here this morning dragging and struggling.  After service a sister, I don’t even know her name, came up and gave me a word from the Lord.  There is no way she would know unless God told her.  I didn’t even know her.”  He went from “On the Brink” of a breakdown to “On the Brink” of a breakthrough.  There is a daily concern I carry for every person God has placed under my care.  I pray for the prayer requests, I call hundreds by name weekly, I cruise facebook looking for opportunities to pray, I just love City on a Hillers passionately and compassionately.  I just know we are all “On the Brink” of something amazing!  God has not gathered such  incredible group of His servant’s in one place to wait on Heaven.  He has called us and gathered us together to impact our city, reach lost people, restore wanderers, be disciple making disciples and to send missionaries.  I know that we are “On the Brink” of a spiritual awakening because so many are “On the Brink” and going through tremendous personal struggles.  I am praying that God will help us all stay “On the Brink” of personal spiritual renewal and corporate spiritual growth in every sense of the Word.  I am equally praying that God will sustain those who feel “On the Brink” of a mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical decline to recognize we can lift our eyes up to the hills where our help comes from and fix our gaze upon Jesus!  You are “On the Brink” of stepping into the life and calling God has made you for!  Be encouraged!


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Romans 3:31 But by shifting our focus from what we do to what God does, don’t we cancel out all our careful keeping of the rules and ways God commanded? Not at all. What happens, in fact, is that by putting that entire way of life in its proper place, we confirm it.

In the past two years I have learned a very valuable lesson about my life and leadership. I have learned the negative and positive value of focus. I have learned that we can train ourselves to focus on the negative or the positive. The big idea in the this lesson is what we focus on becomes our AUTO-FOCUS. It becomes the aspect that we instantly focus on and all of our energy and effort is spent there. If we choose to focus on the negative aspect of things and give our attention to what went wrong or what isn’t working every time we view ourselves, our organization or our vision the AUTO-FOCUS is stuck in negativity. Conversely, if we choose to focus on the positive aspects of things and give our attention to what went right and what is working every time we view ourselves, or organization or our vision the AUTO-FOCUS is set on the positive. Now this has nothing to do with fair and proper assessment or evaluation is has everything to do with the mindset in which we assess and evaluate. The principle is simple what and how we focus becomes our default or our AUTO-FOCUS. We must be ever so careful to pay attention to the instruction in the scripture listed above by focusing on what God is doing not what we are doing. When this becomes our AUTO-FOCUS we can’t help but to be positive. Church planting and church leadership is the hardest most beautiful yet brutal journey of have ever been on in my life. While on this journey and learning this valuable lesson I can confidently say I understand why statistics reveal that 75% of church plants fail. It really boils down to focus, better yet AUTO-FOCUS. As a church planter and pastor I must train myself to AUTO-FOCUS on what God is doing in and through me not what He is not doing. This weekend we celebrated 104 weekends in our 11,000 square foot miracle on Dr. MLK street. (Willis S. Johns Recreation center) Now here is a perfect example of learning to AUTO-FOCUS on God and the positive. I could whine and moan and complain about not having a building to call our own and how life would be easier if we didn’t have to set up and tear down every week. I could lament about not having a structure in the city that people could drive by and find us and how we could be growing and reaching even more people than we are if we only had a building of our own. OR I can praise and thank God for providing us with an 11,000 square foot facility right in the middle of our community. I can focus on God providing us with a facility that can seat 458 in the sanctuary (gym), has a fully equipped Teen Room and preschool, a spacious room with fully equipped video game systems and other game tables for our children and 300 parking spaces! Not to mention the manager is now a founding member of COAH. See how it works? It is AUTO-FOCUS. It is seeing what God has done not what He hasn’t. It is seeing God’s grace and thanking Him for His provision. As a church planter, pastor, leader and human being I must stay focused on the positive not just in the church but in my life. I must have my AUTO-FOCUS set on the positive. If I do not negative self-talk, naysayers, our enemy satan and life will consume our thoughts and cause us to AUTO-FOCUS negatively which leads to failure and crushed dreams. We never fail until we quit trying! Rather than look at a problem as one step further away from our goal why don’t we look at it as one step closer to our goal. In this past two years we have faced some pretty big challenges but God has always carried us through. There have been times I thought to myself, what am I going to do? But then I remember it is not what I’m going to do it is what God has already done. I have trained myself to AUTO-FOCUS on the positive and I rehearse the good deeds of God. I look back at how God has provided and I look to how He will provide again. I must tell you learning to AUTO-FOCUS is hard! I must also tell you that it is easy to switch the AUTO-FOCUS off and start trying to focus on your own. When we do this we usually get a blurry picture of the future or our current circumstance. We have had major shifts with key team leaders on our ministry teams and each time I have been tempted to switch off the AUTO-FOCUS. By God’s grace I have decided to leave the AUTO-FOCUS on God and His favor and He has never disappointed. Even as I write this we are in a huge transition and in need of a drummer, a bass player and a guitar player for the third and fourth Sunday worship teams. I just shift my AUTO-FOCUS back to April of 2010 when I had Jesus and a dream. I had no band, no building, no you name it and yet God has provided. We opened COAH with a full 13 member worship team. Two years later God has provided COAH with a host of skilled musicians and singers many whom have been with us from the very beginning and many whom God has called just at the right time. My encouragement to everyone today is check your AUTO-FOCUS to see who, where and what it is set on. Be sure to set is on God, His vision for your life and on the positive. I’m confident that if we all do this we will see and do things that we thought were only possible in dreams:) This isn’t just for church planters or pastors this is for everyone. Live the life God has planned for you. You can do it! Be encouraged!

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