We wrapped up the series Circles and the 21 Day Daniel Fast this past weekend. What an incredible experience! I learned so many valuable lessons about myself, my church, and God’s faithfulness. Mark Batterson says in his book The Circle Maker, “Praying hard is praying when it is hard to pray.” I added my spin to that saying, “Learning to pray hard comes when we are disciplined to pray even when it is hard, even when we don’t feel like it, even when we don’t want to.” It is so ironic how God has allowed me to live out the biblical principles I teach in my sermons at City on a Hill Church. This past Friday I was tired and hungry. I have learned the H.A.L.T. lesson a couple years ago from a friend of mine. Don’t make any decisions when you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. I’m glad I pulled that up from the recesses of my mind and someone else reminded me of it a few weeks ago in an email. God knows just what we need and will bring it back to our memory just at the right time. Anyway, it was Friday my usual Sabbath day I spend in prayer. Well I didn’t feel like praying at all. I didn’t want to pray. My want to was busted! I didn’t want to do anything. Luckily I have a workout partner that I committed to for a work out so I fulfilled my commitment and had a decent workout. Didn’t want to but I did. Afterwards I didn’t want to go to Fort DeSoto and pray. I just didn’t want to which is totally unusual. I usually always look forward to my time with Jesus. I was tired, hungry, feeling lonely and a little bit angry. I had all of the symptoms for making a bad decision. But I believe in being a man of my word. I really strongly desire to see God working in my life, my family, my church and this city so even though I didn’t want to I went. My prayer time started out like this, “Well God I really don’t want to be here today, but I guess you already know that. I am going to practice the discipline of prayer right now and trust you with the rest so here it goes.” Literally that is how it started, two hours later I was still going strong! I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t even want to be there now I didn’t want to leave. In the middle of that prayer time God spoke to me clearly. You see I have had an addiction to Diet Pepsi I couldn’t break. Correction I didn’t want to break. All my life I have struggled with food addiction, not to goof healthy foods but to bad foods. In the middle of my prayer God spoke to me in my spirit and said, “Hey Mike when is the last time you had a Diet Pepsi?” I answered, “January 8 at 5:55 pm.” The Spirit replied, “Your devotion to me is stronger than your addiction.” I was totally floored by this revelation. Then I heard in my spirit, “Hey Mike when is the last time you had sugar, salt, cheese, eggs and meat?” I replied, “Lord you know none of that has touched my lips since January 8.” The Spirit replied, “Your devotion to me is stronger than your addiction.” I just began to worship and praise God thanking Him for this experience and calling me to this fast. I didn’t want to but God requested and I answered. Sometimes we have to push through things that we don’t want to do to see the things that we do want to see. Sometimes we have to do things that we don’t want to do to get to do the things that we do want to. I didn’t want to wait seven years to pastor a church but I wouldn’t trade this journey for anything. I always thought that I would pastor an established church I didn’t want to take the long, hard road of planting a church from the ground up but it has been the most incredible faith filled, powerful, rewarding and challenging adventure of my life and I thank God everyday for calling to me to it. A lot of times I don’t want to go to the gym, but I want to have a long vibrant healthy life. Many times I don’t want to bring correction to people, but as a shepherd and leader I must if I truly love them. Life is filled with want to’ and don’t want to’s our job is to be obedient and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit even if we don’y want to. I would have missed that special revelation that was just for me if I did want I wanted to which was waller on the couch. Learning to pray and living a life of faith will require us to do things that we don’t want to do to get to do and see things that we do. Learning to pray and fast when we don’t want to will teach us what it is to truly pray and seek God’s face. Praying and living a life of faith in adversity when we don’t want to will mold and shape us into the people God has called us to be. Praying and living a life of faith when we don’t to will release miracles in our lives and the lives of others. Ask yourself today, What good thing don’t I want to do? What is God asking me to do that I don’t want to do? Now ask yourself why? Why don’t I want to? Perhaps it is thing that will give you your greatest breakthrough and you are one prayer away. Perhaps it is time to change our perspective. Even if we don’t want to, we get to! We get to pray to a God who hears. We get to openly go to a house of worship without persecution. We get to offer a hand up to our brothers and sisters in Christ. I know it is easier said than done, but how do you climb the highest mountain? One steps at a time. How do you learn to hard pray? One prayer at a time even when you don’t want to. How do we learn to live a life of faith? One day at a time by the grace of God. Be encouraged!
Monthly Archives: January 2012
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Bonus Blog: Eyes Wide Open
This is the last week of the 21 day Daniel Fast at City on a Hill Church. Sunday January 29, 2012 we will also wrap up our series Circles: Praying Circles around our future and our fears. We began the Daniel Fast in conjunction with the Circles series under the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Something miraculous happens when you call a whole city to fast, pray and seek God together. During this series I shared our bold vision and I even got very specific about our coming miracle. I shared what God had placed in my heart and what has been confirmed to me by numerous people through dreams and visions. I shared that I believe God is going to give us a building debt free to His glory. The reason this miracle is so significant is because the leadership of this church has agreed to never be a slave to the lender. We will never enter into financial debt in any way, shape or form. We believe where God guides He provides. Our current rented space is proof of that. We meet in, what I call, our 11,000 square foot miracle. It is a Recreation Center filed with everything we need and more to accomplish God’s purposes. However, we are limited because our vision far exceeds a once a week meeting space. Our vision is to have a building where we can have discipleship classes throughout the week, a youth mentoring program, an after school program, a martial arts program, Wednesday Night services with a full compliment of ministries for Children and Youth, a car care clinic for single mom’s and the elderly, counseling center, preschool, an extension campus for seminary to produce church planters, pastors and missionaries ultimately to build, become and be a city within a city reaching our city with the life changing message of Jesus Christ one life at a time. Just sharing that vision about someone buying us a building or giving us a building is pretty bold. I get it but I can’t shake it and it has been confirmed multiple times without ever being shared by multiple people. So with my eyes wide open I search the city, circling it looking, believing and trusting. Is it the abandoned school on 38th Ave North? OR 83rd Ave. North? Is it the abandoned Sears building on Dr.MLK St. North just north of our church? Is it a church building waiting to be gifted by a congregation who has served God’s purposes in their generation? Is it an abandoned church building? I don’t know! What I do know is I have to keep my eyes wide open. I am truly encouraged by Elijah’s story in 1 Kings 18. Elijah was in need of a miracle. He kept circling and praying asking God for rain. He prayed and looked and prayed and looked and prayed and looked. He had his eyes wide open. Check it out.
1 Kings 18:43-45 (ESV) 43 And he said to his servant, “Go up now, look toward the sea.” And he went up and looked and said, “There is nothing.” And he said, “Go again,” seven times. 44 And at the seventh time he said, “Behold, a little cloud like a man’s hand is rising from the sea.” And he said, “Go up, say to Ahab, ‘Prepare your chariot and go down, lest the rain stop you.’” 45 And in a little while the heavens grew black with clouds and wind, and there was a great rain. And Ahab rode and went to Jezreel.
What an amazing story! Elijah prayed and kept his eyes wide open looking for his miracle. It hadn’t rained in three years but that didn’t stop him. He prayed and kept his eyes wide open. That is what I am doing. I am praying and keeping my eyes wide open, expectantly waiting for a phone call or office visit or divine intersection. I know that I know this is going to happen. I don’t know when but I know it will happen. I don’t know how but I know it will happen. I just have to keep my eyes wide open. One day I will see “a little cloud like a man’s hand rising” and I will get ready for a downpour. A year ago I treasured these dreams up in my heart keeping them between me, God and the people who shared them. Now I have made them public. Who knows maybe the person God is going to use to make this miracle come to life will be reading this blog? I just keep circling, praying, and fasting with my eyes wide open.
Full Disclosure
One of the toughest issues that I face is really telling the whole story without hurting anyone. I feel like full disclosure is critical as a leader. For so many years I lived under the “let’s keep that between us for the sake of the people” regime. In hindsight I don’t really feel like “the people” were served. Even in that I still struggle when telling certain stories concerning my life because I don’t wish to offend or hurt others however the power of what God has brought me through is lost if key elements of the story are left out. Now don’t get me wrong I know some things (names) are between us and God and they are better kept there. However, I do believe that full disclosure is vital to God getting all of the glory for our testimony. Even still I struggle with it because it makes me feel a bit weird inside. The enemy of my soul and my own self doubt come in and try to steal the power of what was shared by trying to convince me “I share too much.” I find my greatest asset with the exception of the Holy Spirit is my ability to be transparent. This creates a trust between me and those in whom God has trusted to my care. It also gives them permission to provide full disclosure and get the help they need so that God gets full glory in the end. I had to share this because yesterday in the third message of our preaching series I shared two critical stories one from 2003 and one from 2010. One spoke of a Church Board, whom many are still my friends, and the other of church consultants who tried to change my personality and the way I view the scriptures. I wish no ill on any of them but without those key elements in my story God doesn’t receive the glory due His name and my story loses part of it’s power. It is like starting to read a good book in the middle or catching a movie in the middle if you don’t know what brought the person there you don’t understand what is truly being communicated or what has been overcome. I think it will always be a struggle but we must trust the leading of the Holy Spirit. At first I was like “for the sake of the people” I’ll keep silent. Then I realized for it is “for the sake of the people” that I must operate under full disclosure. I have learned it is not what you say but how you say it that matters. We must be careful not to allow others to pick up our offenses so we must be careful in the way we go about full disclosure. Anyway I found myself struggling yesterday directly following service, which is not unusual, but after reviewing what was said I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. I didn’t name anyone. I did tell my story and my struggle to become a church planter and pastor. I did detail it. Without those details included so much would be lost in translation and so much of the struggle would be voided or misunderstood. I operated under full disclosure for “the sake of the people”. I can not tell you how much has been lost over the years trying to sweep things under the carpet for “the sake of the people”. I have seen good men slandered and empires rise and fall “for the sake of the people”. I have seen opportunities provided to come clean give full disclosure and receive forgiveness and restoration refused “for the sake of the people”. One can only wonder what would have happened if we operated under full disclosure verses a false “for the sake of the people” canopy. Here is what I know truth is truth and it sets men free. Full disclosure before a holy God leads to repentance and restoration. Afterwards telling your story with full disclosure much like King David’s life can bring you back to life. Think about it King David’s life would be far less powerful without including his failures and shortcomings. So much about what we understand about God’s amazing grace and forgiveness would be lost without David and Bathsheba. Win, lose or draw we must tell the whole story for God’s glory. Who is the hero anyway? Jesus! He is the Hero of heroes! He is also the truth. Just had to share with you guys this week. I challenge you with this scripture:
City on a Hill Church 